Psychology’s 8 signs you’ve found your life partner
3) You’re best friends
My friendship with one of my exes was quite weak after I got with him.
Our romantic and sexual relationships were great, but our conversations rarely lasted more than twenty minutes.
When we went on a trip, I knew I would have had more fun with one of my girlfriends since we didn’t have much in common.
Maintaining friendships with others alongside your romantic relationship is extremely important. Don’t let your partner be your only best friend.
The leading expert on emotions, Aaron Ben-Zeév Ph.D., says:
“Friendship is not an emotion, but a personal relation necessary for an enduring, flourishing relationship. As friendship is based on shared history, it often grows over time, unlike sexual desire, which fades with time.”
Your life partner shouldn’t just be chosen based on your romantic and sexual connection. Those may eventually fade.
Companionship is what matters most in the long run.
Do you laugh together? Do you go on fun dates? Do you feel heard and understood?
Those are the things that really matter.
4) You both put in consistent effort
To keep a person in your life, you can’t take them for granted and not nurture your relationship.
The importance of this cannot be overstated.
If left untouched, people don’t last for centuries.
A person is like a river, ever-flowing and ever-changing, and the only way you can ensure that they stay by your side is to go where the current takes you. You need to learn how to swim and put that skill to work.
There will be times when you don’t have the energy to go on a date every week. Sure, the relationship won’t always be a priority.
Nevertheless, effort should be the general pattern.
If your partner is having a rough time at work, cook a romantic dinner. Clean the kitchen even if you’re tired, since it’ll make their morning easier. Plan dates and activities.
Make sure you show up.
Do you really want to spend time with your partner if you don’t show up for each other? Or are you just afraid of uncertainty?
The question is, what should I do?
